#29 Werckmeister Harmonies (D+)

Man. This was supposed to be great. I was really looking forward to this film. Per Metacritic.com (c), this was #1 out of the decade of the 2000's for top foriegn horror films. http://www.metacritic.com/feature/best-foreign-horror-films-since-2000 What? There is nothing horror about this film. I read the comments from the people who critiqued the metacritic list and knew that this was one of the complaints (that it wasn't horror and no one understood why it was on the list) but I was okay with it anyway, and remained pumped. I emailed my buddies, texted a few, and talked to a few in person about my anticipation for this film. So what happened, why am I spending this time talking about something that isn't the film itself? Because it was so awful. I'm not sure about artsy films, I'm willing to try, but this was just so not good. I just went onto Netflix (c) and read some reviews. The first page and a half was all 5 stars saying that this film was "exhilarating" and "wonderful" and that even though they didn't know really what was going on, that it wasn't about the plot per se but it was about the "poetry" of Tarr (the director). Piss. Then I decided to read some reviews which were 2 stars. That's more where I'm aligned. Those guys are my homies! Come on over for dinner buds, because your reviews are where it's at.

So the movie...uh, basically black and white and lots of continues filming of shots, often 10+ minutes of the same shot. Okay, that's cool. The filming angles and continuousness was worth something. And really, that's the only reason I put the "+" onto the D up there. Otherwise, a guy walks around - he's got an uncle - there's a whale in the town - people get beat up - there's some old dude naked in a tub - they stop beating people up...I don't know, and honestly that kind of makes it sound cool. But add in 130 minutes of boring to that mix and it doesn't work for me. Just not good at all. A real let down. I wish this movie was a 30 minute short film instead of 2 stinking hours. They could have cut MOST of the movie out as I see no point to it. In fact, I'd rather watch Stalker. Bye.

#28: City of the Living Dead (A-)

Starts with the word "Dunwich". Is this the same as Dunwich Horror?

First 2 scenes make me think this is going to be a classic! Another Lucio Fulci. Man, why am I giving him so much play? Also, I'm impressed with the intro music - I wouldn't be at all surprised if this was Goblin on the mic. That opening scene had awesome music! Even the sound effects are good so far!

Here are some awesome things to look for:

• Dancing/disappearing fire, 2x (??).
• Automatic blowup doll followed directly by small, veiny, crazy, wormy, half-moving corpse (yes, I like horror flicks - sorry if this description disgusts you, it's just a movie. Hoping those horror fans jump on).
• Cat scene.
• Worms, worms, and more worms. Worm sandwich!
• Holy crap! Eye blood??? What is she puking? What the hell? Worms? no, maybe organs? Eels? Huh? Totally classic! Oooooooooooooh!!!
• HOLY DRILL!! This is up there with the top scenes!
• That's not snow!!

This is definitely a 70's acting movie, made (or released) in 1980. Highly enjoyed. Recommended for those who like classic horror....! Plot leaves a bit to the wings, but the crazy horror scenes make up for it. Good job Fulci! (it was not Goblin)

#27: Planet 51 (B)

This movie is entertaining and throws in some good references to the paranormal. Of course, my kids liked the cork in the butt reference the best. Great. Ugh. I do however wish they put a bit more thought into scenes that reference other movies or paranormal stuff, like the E.T. scene was funny. Those guys with the funny noses, perhaps it's hair like a mustasche, they make me laugh.

The Howling #26 (B)

About an hour in I didn't get what all the hub-ub was about. Then the last half an hour started and I realized why it's a "classic". Honestly, I was ready to give this a C- or lower and bash it to high heaven, but this jazz got cool and it made it worth the wait. The werewolf transitions were very good, esp. considering the time period this was made. The last werewolf was funny however because it looked like a wookie. Or perhaps a pomeranian. I proudly agree this is good and rate it a B.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off / #25 (A)

When I watch a classic like this it reminds me just how special certain movies are and that many newer comedies just can't get it right. This one has perfect casting and perfect flow.  I do believe I will need to bump it up on the overall movie listing.

Guy, first time reader.  Hone in son.  This sentence is for you 0 I'm going to say that if you comment on something from 17 years ago, and this is you reading this in the current present, while it's still alive and kicking....I will reply back to you.  If you decide, "you know what?  Perhaps I want to go and see Brotherhood of the Wolf, and verify it....I'll hit you back.  

The Church #24 (D)

I just took a screen shot of a rolling body-free head being trampled by a horse. This movie is odd, seems like something I would love as an older kid when I was into more make-believe stuff. It reminds me of something odd like Dune, at least in the first 10 minutes. This starts off in olden times and then jumps to modern, yet during the olden times it says "present" on the screen? I'm confused.

He wants someone to get a coffee with him....twice.

Then there is a parchment. He's very worried about it. Then they make love. Oops, sorry, they just kissed a bit. My bad. NOPE, they made love! I guess they just stopped mid-way to look at some sort of relic/parchment, but I don't think it was "THE" parchment.

Woah, was that an invisible horse attack? What the hell is up with this movies plot. So far, this makes a GREAT DEAL OF SARCASTIC SENSE!

Yes, I'm half-giving a play by play color announcer approach to this movie - right now there hasn't been talking for about 6 minutes. I'm not sure what he's digging around at?

WOAH, he just didn't have a face!! I think this might be one of the worst best movies that never existed. I just rewound to get a screen shot of his no face, and he did have a face. Sorry. This movie sucks so far FYI only.

WOAH again, randomness! Some sort of scary hands just grabbed the dude who was digging. Still not talking. Been like 7.5 minutes now. I will give this movie credit for one thing, it doesn't seem like it's been 42 minutes of wonderfulness thus far. Time sure is racing with this EPIC PIECE! (side note, never watch this movie).

Someone just talked, been about 10 minutes. Ok, take my advice and stop watching this masterpiece. If you are following along with this mystery theatre 3000 play by play, I hope you laughed at me once, but honestly, go watch Good Will Hunting or something.

Holy crap, seriously, there was just a "hole" scene like Videodrome, followed by some crazy race car scene. This movie so far defies what it might be like to be on crack.

What the hell is up with this movie?? Perhaps this might be one of the best? It's so odd, and random.

Holy jackhammer holy shit. What the hell!!?

This is completely random, but I was thinking I wish I had the balls that cats have when they jump from high places and basically partially run down the side of a wall until they hit ground. The size of them versus the size of the world and their guts to jump, it amazes me.

The Basketball Diaries #23 (B)

Marky Mark still says, "Don't ever say anything about my mother" the same way he said it in this movie. Rappaport sighting! I can't believe I've never seen this movie.

Reggie almost to the rescue.

Christ, that was depressing.

Videodrome #22 (C-)

WTH was up with this movie? I can't tell if it was good or bad. I guess it was a mix between the two, mostly due to the age of the film. There were odd items, starting with the stomach pouch bizarreness:

If I had a gripe to make, I would tell them to stop saying "videodrome" over and over and over again throughout the plot. I don't know what to say about this movie, other than I think I'd rather watch the Stuff, From Beyond, Trailer Park Boys, or Mars Attacks. Good night.

[REC] 2 / movie #21 (A+)

Well, damn if I don't love movies where things attack you in the dark! Shit yeah! This movie was great! And, they also threw in another person falling from a high staircase down many flights, as in [REC]. Sorry, I have to say it again --> but shit shit shit this movie was so GREAT! RENT THIS MOVIE! Seriously. It is WAY up there for me as far as horror movies go, probably top 10 or so for me all time. The first 30 minutes and the last 30 minutes were so exhilarating. The very last second was so so so amazingly awesome. Oh man.

Just as an FYI, this movie is hands down better than Captain America and Final Destination 5. I know this just because I have a sick way of knowing these things, despite not seeing those listed above which are still in the theatre. I took some screen shots of my favorite sneak attacks, but I don't think I'm willing to post them on here.

What I don't quite get (and hopefully I will soon), is if Quarantine is the US version of [REC], then why is Quarantine 2 filmed in an airplane? I guess once part 2 hits for remakes in other countries, all hell breaks loose and plots can go wherever they want? I suppose....I do also know this fact, there is no way that Quarantine 2 is any where near as good as [REC] 2. Just keep recording. Good day.

The Fog #20 (B+)

I love the naivety of the towns people throughout this movie. There are so many oddball events going on and 99% of the people brush it off and go on with their daily life. Also, two days in a row and the entire town is up past midnight?? Funny stuff. Good movie though, short, but good. Couple of real good scenes and good acting. This movie holds its own in the current day per my viewing.

Does anyone know if "Nick" was Meatloaf, or perhaps Meatloaf's brother? I could probably look it up, but just wondering if someone else could do that for me and let me know the answer. Thanks.

London to Brighton #19 (B+)

Damn, this was pretty intense. Good flick. I watched it mostly because it was leaving the Netflix instant stream on 8/11, but I was very impressed. I'm still tense just sitting here thinking about it. Basic story is about people who's paths cross and then they are in a situation together for the rest of the movie. I can't really type the rest of the plot because it's pretty crazy, you'll just have to check this one out sometime for yourself. When you do, enjoy and hit me up with your thoughts.

18 Battle Los Angeles (B+)

Finally a good movie. You are correct Lee, this was like Black Hawk Down but with aliens. I was entertained from the beginning to the end. It also makes it more "real" when some of the main people die, street cred to this movie for that. I don't want to say too much as I'll give it away (the trailer pretty much does that actually), but I'll say if you like alien attack movies with Aaron Eckhart, then this movie is for you!

Sid & Nancy 17 (D)

Ugh.

I really thought this would be cool and again this was a movie I had wanted to see for many years. I will say that it was a good job by Gary Oldman, but this was boooooring. I suppose the "based on a true story" part made it okay, but geez I was totally not into this. It really didn't go anywhere, other than to show daily life. There was a lot of skipping from scene to scene. I actually found myself wondering why they were in like 15-20 different houses throughout the movie. I guess it took place over many years? Who cares.

Actually, from what I've just read, it's apparently not too close to being based on a true story and people who were close to Sid didn't want to have anything to do with the movie, not like punk guys would want to do that anyway.

I like punk music etc., but didn't like this flick. I think I'm slightly stupider now for seeing this. Good day.

The New York Ripper * 16 (D)

Why the quack sound? C'mon Fulci. That's no The Beyond. Ugh. There was one cool scene with an eyeball, seriously those who are horror fans should youtube that scene. LOL. That really was some of the worst acting and the plot was totally worthless. And that quack. So awful. As a quick recap, the killer had this awful duck sound, and he would call the one officer and quack into the phone, and quack before his arm (typical 70's filming) would come into the screen for a death scene. Bad horror movie. Bad Fulci, bad. Never would I ever see this again. 2 stars, barely.

Red Hill * 15 (D)

well, Mondo movie guys screwed me on this one. They had this listed in their top 10 from 2010??? Wow, just awful. Barely watchable. I should have known after trying to watch Down Terrace. The bad dude didn't even talk and should have been easily killed like 4 times. Hey Mondo movie guys, stick to horror film reviews - sound good?