I have had the strangest day today. I got a call today on my way into work from a woman who's number I didn't recognize who promptly told me she doesn't speak English. So I replied nicely with "I do" (meaning that I do speak English - being a smart ass) and then she just sat there, saying nothing. So I said to her, "Me Iammo Chris" which I can't remember if that is Latin or Spanish, but then she replied in a struggling manner, "I don't speak English". I said "okay good" and then I also said "Numero incorrecto, me Iammo Chris". Yeah...this went on for over 2 minutes, me using broken a Latin-Spanish-mix and occationally throwing in some English and her struggling to tell me that she doesn't understand and can't speak a lick of English. For some reason she didn't want to hang up, I must have been an important person she wanted to relay some message to, although she never said anything other than she doesn't really understand. It sounded innocent however and didn't sound like a prank (others say crank but that is a pet peeve of mine, at 8 Sycamore Rd in Hummelstown we say PRANK), but in the end I said, "you called me - didn't you?" and then she grunted and hung up. Nice start to my morning.
I might call her on the way home and tell her "I don't speak Russian" just to see how she reacts. Her number is stored in my phone now and she and I have become best friends. I have her labeled as "Gully" in my phone. FYI. Anyone reading this - let me know if you want her digits.
Then to make my day stranger, while at the dentist my hygienist told me that she has been examining my lower front 4 teeth the whole time she has been working on me, so much so that she even measured their size without me knowing. Here is where it gets odd, she told me she has been examining the teeth specifically because she thinks that my adult teeth grew in backwards (not upside-down, but in the wrong order) - meaning that my two bottom front teeth in the middle (let's call them #1 and #2) should really be where the other two on each side of #1 and #2 are (let's say #3 and #4) and vice versa. So switch #1 and #2 with #3 and #4 and I am normal. RIGHT!!?? She said due to their width this is likely the case. I asked her if this was possible to even have that happen and she said, "sure, it could happen". Then she followed it up with, "you can still chew with your teeth though". OH, okay thanks!!! I thought maybe after 30 years of living and chewing with my current teeth that once I found out this miraculous discovery I would have to stop chewing altogether. That is a relief to know. [I know that I didn't have my adult teeth for 30 years now, but I needed to emphasize there to get my point across] I sort of hoped she was going to tell me that I showed signs of a vampire or something, which I have secretly always wanted to be.
Earlier during the dentist visit, while her hands were shoved in my mouth, she told me a story about an 8 year old who was petrified to be in the office for the first time. Later she found out the 8 year old was petrified because her "idiot Dad" (in her words) told her that she would get a needle in her mouth that would be so long it would go through the back of her head. Then she stops working on my teeth and points her finger to the ceiling (just to help to picture this scenario, she had on a mask and bloody white gloves, my blood that is) and says, "CHILD ABUSE! CHILD ABUSE!" Then she told me she promptly ran out to the waiting room to confront the "idiot Dad" but the only the Mom was there and she ended up reprimanding her telling her that her husband is abusing the 8 year old. Granted, this wasn't the best thing to say on the Dad's part, but 'child abuse'??? C'mon. That is maybe, just slightly, a bit too strong of an allegation/reaction on the hygientists part.
I especially like the part where she decides she has the right to reprimand the parents in the waiting room. Crazy bitch.
We'll see how the rest of the day goes. The day just seems odd so far to me that's all.
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