#105 / Cowboys & Aliens (D+)

This is my own dumb fault for renting a hollywood blockbuster "attempt" that already looked awful from the previews, not to mention the reviews.  I thought...well maybe because I enjoy high-strangeness and didn't hate the Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull movie...just maybe it would be okay and the critics and masses were wrong.  Just maybe I'll enjoy this...Guess what?  It was like Outlander.  Crap.  I didn't love the aliens and what they looked like or how they were portrayed, I didn't love Harrison Ford's acting or his neckcherchief used to hide his blubbering neck, I didn't love the kid from Little Miss Sunshine - at all, I didn't love how Daniel Craig was wishy-washy...starting off standoffish for 38 minutes and then decided to himself "you know what?  I guess I will be friends with you, let's team up and be besties and I'll even show emotion as well as hold your head as you perish, ye towns people I was just hating on".  Crazy BS for a plot.  Jon Favreau fail.  Olivia Wilde - I love her....normally.  Why did she also (plot spoiler) have to be an alien, yet still loves James Bond somehow?  You know what I did like about the movie though, the reason it got the "+" up there on that D?  I loved the first few minutes when Jake Lonergan was in full amnesia mode, punching everyone.

104 / The Accused (B-)

I don't generally love court room drama movies - mostly because the action has already occurred or is referred back to with reminiscing by the characters - however this one was good.  Jodie Foster plays a woman who is having a bad go with her current boyfriend and is blowing off some steam by drinking it up at a local dive bar.  She's as much a local as the fellas at the bar, however, things get out of hand per her and the drama begins.  She claims she's been raped and thus the courtroom drama begins.  The movie thrives on character building and a he said/she said story line.

Christian Slater and Kevin Bacon were not in this movie....nor was Jack, Tom, or Demi Moore.  Judge Harold T. Stone and Bull were not in this movie.  I didn't see Pesci or Macchio either, and no Erin Brochovich.

It's worth a watch.  Overall well done and a bit gripping.  A good story was developed and followed through.  And, Kelly McGillis makes you remember the 80's hardcorps.  Look how old Kelly looks now, it's crazy how that girl from the movies in the 80's is now older.  IMDB (c) K. McGillis link

103 / Naked Lunch (B+)

Like Videodrome and the Fly...Naked Lunch manages to pour out phallic references, slimy alien/bug orifice scenes (emphasis on the slimy ooze and orifice), and creepy-dark-well-thought-out characters with major issues in their lives.  This David Cronenberg "masterpiece" takes place in 1953.  I list it as a masterpiece (per me) because I liked it equally to the Fly and the Brood and better than Scanners and Videodrome.  Perhaps due to the time period the movie is set in, Cronenberg can get away with normal everyday life occurring in the background without any notice to extreme oddities that occur in plain day.  The pedestrian pace and slow overtones of the plot and characters seem to fit perfectly with the visual landscape he created.  And within a few minutes, the movie takes off (albeit at a slow pace) with a very....shall I say Eraserhead-type turn. Basically typewriters turn into bugs and eat each other and everyone ODs on centipede bait.  Also, Robocop is the main actor in this bizarre experience so that's a bonus.  He goes to bed in a hotel room each night and wakes up in a pile of soot and dust on the side of the street.  What an odd movie.  I feel like Roy Scheider should be in this movie.

Part of me wants to say, "What the hell just occurred?"  But another part of me gets it.  If you understand Brazil and Eraserhead, you'll get this movie.  But not Lost Highway, Eyes Wide Shut, or other Lynch films....no one gets those.  Basically, this one isn't THAT mentally challenging.  But I caution those that think because I mentioned the Brood and Videodrome that it automatically makes this awesome.  I actually don't think this movie will suit everyone, so go more off the other movies I've mentioned before pushing play.

Steven Wright?  Man...I don't recall him sounding like Steven Wright in Robocop.  Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen all of Robocop.  Only the few scenes as a kid.

Note: David Cronenberg movies I've seen that I didn't love are Crash, Spider, and Eastern Promises.  All were okay, but not among his best in my mind.  This is the guy who put together other potential greats (not seen yet) like Rabid, Shivers, Nightbreed, and Dead Ringers.  I think Cronenberg is just twisted enough for me to bump all of these up in my queue.  Well, maybe not Rabid, that looks pretty whack.

Dead Alive moves up

they don't all have to be new to me, I've decided.  But, when they aren't new, I just can't count them.  So game still on - (minus) 2 (I've since realized I've seen Ferris Beuller's day off too).  Maybe this can go beyond the 1 year?  Perhaps I can proceed with the challenge until it's all over and then, once the challenge (wink wink) is over, I will stop doing that?  Cool?  Perhaps someday I will get to 1,184....a true achievement.  If this blog still remains, I'll look it up again, probably remembering at around movie seen number 1,084 - equals =better keep this around (as long as it gets hits right marketing guy?) - and I'll make that milestone movie Dead Alive again, it will be great.  We'll get a party together.  I think if I see Dead Alive 34 more times while I strive for 1,184 - I'll have a side list of Dead Alive sightings while I'm in the middle of the quest to get to '1,184-all-new-not-counting-current-but-I-can-still-talk-about-them' movies.  AND, there are several DEAD ALIVE'S!!!  YEAH FOR ME!!!

Dead Alive (A+)

102 Limitless (B)

Limitless surprised me.  Way better than I thought it would be.  Entertaining the whole way through, your basic action craziness...and I was impressed with Bradley Cooper.  Bobby D?  Eh....not the best in this one.  I'm pretty sure everyone knows what this is about and a lot of the time I don't dive into the plot, so I'm not going to do that even less here.  Or maybe more?  It's worth a shot if you want an action/thriller with some thug and drug action.  The main thug gave a good acting performance.

That's all I got.  Later.

101: Alive! Is Michael Jackson Really Dead? (C+)

I am definitely one that loves a good conspiracy theory...and this title has intrigued me for some time.  So I finally watched it, and I do believe it was worth it.  While I guess I'm not shocked that a movie like this exists, I can certainly say that this was one of the worst productions I've ever seen - probably the worst since the documentary I saw about Nick Pope leaving the MOD.  However, in amongst the awful editing and bad sound quality there are many points (I won't call them facts) about Jacko's death, many points which are borderline intriguing.  Quite honestly, I'd suggest that all give this one a chance.  Try to look past "Pearl Jr." (she should not be on film, perhaps she just be a "fact" gatherer and let Leonard Nemoy or someone else do the talking) and the bad editing, and just listen to all of the ideas surrounding this topic.  The "facts" that Pearl Jr. lays out there certainly are often presented without back up, so more information is warranted for the documentary to be taken seriously.  But somehow there are a lot of interesting coincidences surrounding this event.

I'm not surprised by much in this world anymore, and I wouldn't fully be surprised if Michael Jackson is still alive and/or was off'd so that peeps could roll around amongst his money.  Wouldn't it be great if Tupac, Biggie, Elvis, and Michael Jackson are all on an island together somewhere?  How totally cool would that be?  When people get too famous to even live among regulars, they get shipped there.  LOL.  Disclaimer: I'm just doing a "movie" review - this is just my opinion and thoughts after watching and I do not stand by these words.

As mentioned above, I've decided to add my review to the documentary featuring Nick Pope.  I don't find much about Nick Pope to be helpful in general, even though I so badly want what he has to say to have some relevance and some strong facts.  Written on 3/13/09 - Nick Pope: The Man Who Left the MOD
I love ufos, paranormal, etc., and expected a lot more from this "official" person coming out to relay his experiences with ufos and the behind the scenes information. Frankly, there was barely any good info in this documentary. And the production of the video?? Who made this, a 4 year old? Seriously, what was going on with the Punjabi thing at the end?? That will help people to take this seriously (sarcasm!!). I wanted this to be good, sooooo badly. But it wasn't.

100 - Daybreakers (C+)

I did really enjoy this one until the last 20 minutes, which I've been "waiting" to watch for about a week now.  I started this one and never got all the way through it, similar to my experience with Harsh Times.  Before finishing the last bit tonight, I really liked where this one was headed.  There was a good sci-fi plot, good vampire stuff going down, good acting for the most part (I could have done without the brother of Ethan Hawke's character)....then downhill.  It was like they didn't know how to cap off the movie.  The last 20 minutes were a bumble confusion.  I had no idea what was going on.  I will keep this one at a C+ however because the first 3/4ths was really good.

Quiz, is the below picture of Tommy Cruise or Ethan Hawke?  Hint, it's from the movie Daybreakers:

99 / Harsh Times (B-)

I've officially been watching this movie over time for the past two weeks...

Holmes, did we watch the same movie?  I was totally enthralled watching this.  It's no Braveheart, but David Ayer does a good job in my mind.  They painted a great 1.5 hour picture of Freddy and Bale hanging out - living their borderline, out of control lives - as they continually lied, cheated the system, and slipped back to their "thug" roots...followed by about 0.25 of an hour of crazy happenings and true brotherhood.  Their conversation at the end in the car was great dialog to me.  Way better than the dialog from Death Proof.  Honestly, I was totally happy watching these two interact throughout.  A hang session that I wouldn't want to be a part of in real life, but certainly one I was entertained by from a movie aspect.

This was Bale just before his big rise to fame, after Machinist but before Batman etc.

Certain times, movie characters reach out and just work for the viewer...In this case, the characters worked for me.  When compared to Rumblefish, this one seemed more real to me.  I still think Rumblefish had a better plot and more stern/solid acting overall, but it seems Harsh Times gets a bad rap throughout from viewers everywhere, and I don't feel thats fair.  I think this one surpassed my expectations and deserves a watch from all.

Or, maybe this guy is right and I'm not (taken from a user review on Netfizzle (c)), what do I know?:
"This is my first review.....This Movie and all the actors in it were gay as hell, If you are at all familiar with how people act on the streets you will vomit from how corny this is, I could act better than these dorks. Horrible story line and crap made no sense a friggen super model lawyer with a loser scrub dork who she waits for to find a job, she wouldent of gave him the time of day...this shyit was just so corny though I couldn't finish. If hollywood hires cristian bail as tuff guy they need to put me on....I can do 10 times better with zero acting experience. GARBAGE!"

98 / The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (A)

I had a slight reluctancy going to watch this "remake".  With all of the hype for the foreign version, and then me watching and not loving said foreign version (here's my write-up) - I honestly didn't think I would like the US remake version.  A true test would be for me to rewatch the scandinavian thriller tonight, but I won't be doing that.  I think this version, the US version, was much better after having seen both.

2011 tied the relationship of Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara together much better as well as showed a lot more of how the dragon girl got her clues and went about her everyday work as a sleuth/detective of sorts.  That was the much needed plot building that I thought the foreign version lacked.

I cannot believe that the girl who played the lead was the same girl as the girlfriend on the Facebook (c) movie.  That is crazy.  She totally transformed herself and was a true badass in the movie.  A few scenes stand out - for instance when someone tried to take her computer bag in the subway...that 30 seconds of cinema was truly awesome and definitely left the viewer knowing how bad of an ass she was.

The Orinoco Flow scene was wild....and because of the music, it was reminiscent of American Psycho in ways.

Fanboys #97 (B)

I had a short wait for Moneyball and Drive per Netfizzle, so I ordered Fanboys.  This is a movie that has been on my queue for many months.  Actually, I think it's been many years as I recall being told about this flick while at my last job by an 'anonymous homey' of mine.  He heard about it and then asked me to check out the trailer.  With this one, for the first time in a while, I watched the DVD right away when it arrived - instead of waiting a few days/weeks.  Someone I know still has a movie, The Thing I think, for over 4 years.  Crazy.

Guess what homeskillet?  Fanboys is damn funny, however likely only for a special kind of folk (guys, dorks, and perhaps those with a sense of humor outside of mainstream hollywood hits).  I'd put it up there with other comedies like Sex Drive or perhaps Hall Pass.  A lot of the jokes are sort of hidden unless you are this special kind of dork.  Hence, Star Wars dork.  Not to be confused with trekkies.  I believe I would qualify as a Star Wars dork, but not full fledged.

Overall it's a good comedy from guys like Apatow, Seth Rogan, Steven from Undeclared, and booger's son (note: Dan Fogler looks like Curtis Armstrong).  After checking, Apatow has nothing to do with this movie - it would seem like he would be friends with the guys who wrote this I guess.  I was impressed with the other two main actors as well, Sam Huntington and Chris Marquette.  Hopefully they each will do something else good someday and I can look them up again and say, "oh yeah, that was the kid from Fanboys".  Good cameo from Kenny Powers.  Beeleedat.  I also saw Lando, Carrie Fisher and Shatner - all of which can barely act anymore, so their cameos were pleasant/fun but not really good from a talent standpoint.  It's kind of funny how people deteriorate in acting skills in certain instances.  Danny Trejo and Christopher McDonald were fun additions as well.

I'd rather watch a movie like this over and over, than watch a "cult classic" like Old School or other.  Fanboys would be better to own, in my mind, then say owning 40 Year Old Virgin or Step Brothers.  With that said, what is better - Galaxy Quest or Fanboys?  Galaxy Quest is the answer.  If I was reviewing/blogging Galaxy Quest, that would surely get an A.

I recognized the lady lead, but I wasn't sure from where.  I just IMDB'd her and still don't know who she is...so I IMDB'd her again...and it's from Couples Retreat...Justin Bateman's wife in that movie (which could have been better).

James King....good work.  Didn't realize you were an actor.

P.S. A quick note about Steven from Undeclared: I'm really happy that Steven from Undeclared is getting some Apatow and Seth Rogan love.  He's really talented and someone who I enjoy in most of the movies he's been in.  Perhaps soon I'll start calling him Jay Baruchel instead of Steven from Undeclared.

#96 / Red (C+) - aka the 2007 movie about the dog and the evil kids, not to be confused with the 2010 version about old actors getting together to do stuff

Did you know that Brian Cox was in Red (2007), and also in Red (2010)?  It's sort of like how Sly was in Rambo, and Rambo, and Rambo, and Rambo.  Ya heard?

I definitely wanted this to be better.  What a great idea for a plot...and in the end, it was actually pretty good.  Or rather only sort of okay - I feel like they left so much movie plot goodness off this one.  A bit slow at parts if you will.  I would love to be able to recommend this flick to a lad of mine, to say, "hey there average friend, here is a movie you've never heard of, but it's actually fantastic!  It's about a guy who basically has nothing in life.  He just likes to fish and hang with his good ol' dog.  No more family or wife, no more nothing but the long lasting life of a guy who wastes his days fishing, sleeping and reading the paper.  But then friend, guess what?  It turns EVIL!!!  3 teenagers show up while the old man is fishing and totally blast the good ol' pup in the hizead with a shotty.  The man's life is over...his only friend is now dead.  What's he got left to live for?  Revenge?  You got it!"  Then you tell your average friend the truth about the middle of the movie.  You say, "oops, the movie then gets super slow...despite some pretty good acting by Brian Cox and the angry kid that plays the main bad teen, and stuff gets a bit boring.  There are some awesome Tom Sizemore-evil-family-lunacy events built in, but basically this one is only okay from here out."

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Valkyrie #95 (C+)

Wait....Himler?  I thought Nostradamus was 'right', also known as 'close enough' by saying Himler instead of Hitler?  And everyone said he meant Hitler and then they all said, "look how smart he is" etc.??  But per this movie, both of them existed in amongst history together?  Seriously?  Can someone tell me if there really was both of these guys?  ...And then I guess the next thing I want to know is do people who talk about Nostradamus just ignore the fact that Himler existed?

I think I'm not a war movie fan.  In general.  At least not a fan of war movies built solely around plot and planning.  But I am a fan of war movies full of action, like Missing in Action or Rambo II.  I did sort of like this movie, but I suppose it wasn't my favorite.  I couldn't get past Tom Cruise being in it, aka the Tom Cruise effect.  But he did an okay job.  I guess I'll give this a C+.  The action started after mid-way through, but I guess that was the point.  Build up the plot for a bit and then try to blow someone up (Hitler and Himler) and then run, and then hide, and then lie about it all.  Yeah, that's about right.  Okay, I'm done with this review.  I've been writing it for 2 days and it still isn't very good...so I'm just finished.

Now off to write the review from yesterday's movie: Red.

Pontypool / #94 (C+)

Dial 9-1-2...LOL.

it takes exactly 40 minutes to get better.  As in, exactly 40:00.

They did a very good job of having music playing slowly and constantly in the background for seemingly the entire movie.  Added an effect that most probably won't notice.  But I did.  It was pleasant.

Not many camera angles.  I believe this movie put me in the same mood I was in when I watched Bug.  Where is that movie?  Do you have it?  Give it back when you are done watching it so I can put it on my shelf full of awesome display.

The language was unnecessary.  They should have given this movie back to the producer, to fix.  It went from B+ to C-.  Sorry, not as good as I thought.  Could have been super huge.  Okay, up it to C+.  Worth a quick watch...I guess my heart was pounding I just wish I wrote the plot.  The last second of the movie was better, and the credits were cool, but the last 20 minutes were where I'd rewrite.  Damn, they messed up semi-like.  C+

The Perfect Host / 93 (B-)

David Hyde Pierce was very good.  It's surprising to see a guy who I know mostly as a dorky actor from Frasier, go and perform the way he did in a movie like this.  He pulls off an Oldman-worthy role.  Honestly I feel he might be partially insane in the brain in his real life to be able to act this out so well.  I also very much enjoyed his vocal skills in the 2nd half of the movie.

The movie itself was like a mix of Funny Games, meets I Saw the Devil and Misery, which meets the Frasier cast while they are visiting a psycho ward.  I could have done without the flashbacks.  They were done in a bit of a cheesy way.  Cheesy isn't the right word, how about just not done well.  Anyway, the entire experience was fun if you are a person that likes psycho thrillers.  Also for those that haven't seen the trailer yet, there are a lot of twists which are unexpected.  The supporting roles of Roman and the others were a bit annoying as well, but I get it.  Definitely worth watching tonight.

Squirm - 92 (C-)

Pretty funny for an older "horror" movie about worms that go out of control due to a bad storm.  My favorite scene was when the one guy throws a piece of plywood on another guy who is down in a hole and it knocks him out cold.  Too funny.

There were some good scenes where tens of thousands of worms were coming through holes and or all over the floor, but otherwise there wasn't much to write home about in this one.  Below is a picture of the worms in bulk after one of the awful actors opens a door where worms filled the other side (picture 1) and the other is a close-up of one with it's pinchers (??) coming out of it's face (picture 2).  I need to look up worms with mouths like these.  I don't recall these in nature?  Also, in the movie the worms screeched.  Ha!

John Carpenter's The Ward #91 (D-)

I rated this one a 1 star on Netflix (c).

I expect a lot out of John Carpenter.  Really I do.  I mean, he demands that his name be listed with the movie title for eff's sake.  He brought us The Thing, In the Mouth of Madness, Big Trouble in Little China, Halloween, Prince of Darkness, The Fog, Assault on Precinct 13, Escape from New York, etc. - all real great movies to me.  With that resume, he basically should always be the man.  However, now he directs this clunker??  Can anyone say Tales From the Crypt, or "Masters of Horror", or Up All Night or whatever it's called.  This was certainly bad...a straight to DVD awful cinema attraction - aka, don't waste your time.  I could barely finish this piece.  The "bad guy" was so bad it wasn't even...what was I saying?  Right, don't watch this.

Some of Carpenter's other recent gems are Jason vs. Leatherface, The Nightmare Ends on Halloween II, and Jason vs. Michael.  I think he just wrote those not directed.  With those titles, I can clearly say that he should call it quits.

Sam Neill would have been good as the doctor in this movie.  Perfect role for him.

I also love the classic plot move consisting of: person-in-mental-ward-gets-tranqualized-after-something-happens-where-the-staff-doesn't-believe-them-that-something-happens....  That didn't come out right.  What I meant is, it's totally classic (sarcastically) that they tranquilized her right when she needed the most help ever and right when she was being attacked by the "bad guy".

Dumb, dumb, dumb movie.  Sorry, it was.

Frontier(s) #90 (A)

Woah, the French are at it again....I'm starting to think they might be crazier horror-flick-makers than the notoriously awesome Japanese thrillers-of-horror.  I actually thought this movie was a zombie flick due to the cover picture and not a movie like Sheitan.  What a surprise...totally like Sheitan!  My buddies told me it was good and I should watch it, but I didn't listen at first and waited approximately 2 years prior to allowing my brain and eyes to melt while watching this movie.  Evilness is a good word to describe this one.  Damn!  If you are a horror movie fan, check out this French thriller for sure.

This was a mix of Wrong Turn, Hostel, TCM, Sheitan, and a few others.  Basic plot: 4 friends find themselves in some trouble and with a bunch of money and a need to escape a rioting town.  They split up (due to certain circumstances) and both sets plan to meet up later, out towards the country.  They made a bad mistake by leaving the riots, that's for sure.  Would have been much safer staying there.  Anyway, it turns bad...watch to find out more.

I have a few gripes however, all which happened towards the mid-beginning of the film.  The first two guys that venture out to meet the "family" end up in a driving battle with Goetz (who was the main character in Brotherhood of the Wolf, another champion movie).  At the end of this scene (this is a kind of plot spoiler, so perhaps stop reading) the two "good guys" flip off a cliff in their car and drop about 150 feet down, landing directly upside-down on their car roof.  First gripe: they both are fine.  Next they decide that they should go into a cave next to where they landed.  Seems like a good idea, right?  NO!??  They then hit the end of the cave and the only way to go is back or into a tiny passage that they have to hoist themselves into, about the size of their bodies only.  Total claustrophobia.  Good idea??  NO!??  Why the heck wouldn't they just turn around and go back to where they came from and then run like hell??  Dunno, but otherwise this is a movie worth watching for peeps who like awfulness/horroritizing.

Julia #89 (A-)

A new year and time to recap what's occurred so far.  I have just watched my 89th movie.  I started this "journey" on July 5th.  That gives me approximately 180 days left...half way there...and I still have 111 movies to go.  I need to average 18.5 movies a month.  That means I have to get busy.  December wasn't that successful with only 11 movies watched in full (I watched about 6 movies half-way but that doesn't count).  Now onto Julia:

Another bizarre-ass movie - I guess not as bizarre as Repo Man.  The plot in a nutshell: Tilda Swinton, who I've never seen act before and who does a good job, gets wrapped in to help her semi-friend to create an elaborate plot to get her son back.  Her friend, who doesn't ever get to see her son due to the son living with the father etc., asks Tilda (Julia) to help her kidnap the boy in an attempt to get the mom and son back together again and I think to get money from the dad (yes indeed, the mom asked for help for money as the main goal).  For the rest of the movie the actual mom is basically out of the picture and Tilda/Julia and the son are off on a bizarre adventure (for lack of better word) as she takes him out of the country.  I guess the cool twist is that after she kidnaps the boy and runs far away to get the grandfather and father of the boy to give her money etc., some locals kidnap the boy while she's sleeping.  So, thusly there are two kidnappings.  Then she has to play the part of a vigilante-hardcorps-badguy to get the boy back from the 2nd kidnapping.  There were about 45 strong minutes of action and the movie ended up being pretty darn cool with some intense scenes.  No subtitles either.  Santos, the main badguy is awesome!  He should be in more movies.  I recommend this title.  Here is Santos being awesome:

Side note: please realize my mistake from above.  I mentioned that I had never seen Tilda Swinton in a movie before but apparently I'm a liar.  I've seen a bunch of her movies but don't really recall her.  I guess she either disguises herself well or is just a supporting actor and less noticeable.  For instance, I've seen The Beach, Vanilla Sky, I think I've seen Adaptation, The Chronic (what) cles of Narnia, and Burn After Reading.  I think of all of those, I can only picture her in The Chronic (what) cles of Narnia as one of the witches or queens or something.  She would have been good in Alice and Wonderland, or basically as any role Cate Blanchett plays.  Also I noted that both Cate and Tilda are in that Benjamin Button movie together.  Probably playing twins since they might be the same person.