16 March 2013

The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey #185 (C-)

I think I saw this movie in January.  Been not so good at keeping up with this blog...

Peter, I love you man...really I do.  But holy hell, this one was long.  The Orks were cool.  I enjoyed the scenes and battles with them.  And also down in their lair.  But otherwise this movie could have used a few frames on the editing room floor.  Perhaps 1 hour worth.

Wingnut (c) represent though, I'm happy to see that after all these years - popping up on a main stream movie like this.  That made me smile for sure!

The movie opens up, I'd say within the first 10 or so minutes, with crooked nosed guys meeting up at the main hobbit's house - sort of without his invite.  But then Peter proceeds to have this outing, a sort of 3D dinner gathering, which last for about 25 minutes.  No lie.  This scene was soooooooo long, and really the point could have been captured with a quick 3 minute clip.  So now we were about 40 minutes in and I'm about to fall asleep and the first main scene is finally over.  Really not fun.  Sad to say.  And I wonder, of the gathering dwarves - why are 10 of them hobbity-dwarf like, and 3 of them are just normal guys with warrior garb on?  I'm confused.

Then the "unexpected" journey begins.  And basically for 2 hours this goes on.  The end.  There are some cool scenes for sure, they did a good job with the special effects - and if that is what you like then please proceed to see this movie and enjoy the hell out of it.  But be warned, if you want a good plot and a flowing story that doesn't lull you to sleep, you have come to the wrong place.  I recall symphony type music.  Many stringed instruments...picture Frodo, longingly looking into Sam's eyes for 12 minutes....with fairies fluttering around behind them and little CGI hearts popping all around as they gaze at each other....and then add this lulling music, trance like.  Now that you have that picture in your head, this is what the transition scenes felt like to me.  While that didn't happen, I just felt the going from stage 1 of their journey to stage 2 of their journey was long, drawn out, and overly symphonied.  Ha.

And then there were 10 more scenes where I almost fell asleep.

Oh, and then I almost fell asleep.

THEN there was a scene in the Ork lair where they rode this falling ladder/scaffolding down into a giant gorge in the cave, almost like that scene where Vin Diesel rides the car hood down a mountain as an avalanche follows closely behind him, only to grab onto a radio antenna of a building and save himself from dying (hahaha, aka, both amazing scenes!!).  It was like an Ork surfboard.  And, none of the good guys died.  Ok, I found that Vin Diesel scene from XXX, apparently I'm slightly confused because in this scene he is riding a snow board.  I swear it was a car hood: vin riding an avalanche

Aidan Turner, who plays Kili in the movie: Aidan Turner on IMDB (c) reminded me of the great Will Keenan.  I was confused the entire movie.  And, actually was happy that Will got the part.  Unfortunately I was wrong.  Hey Peter - instead of having Aidan be Kili in the next two, please consider having Will join the troop: Will Keenan on IMDB (c)

Plot Spoiler: and then it ends....as I think super fans likely realized (because I think it's either 2 or 3 movies long) - and the story just stopped half way, without resolution.  2.7 hours of my life is now stuck on a story that ends with them staring off at a mountain in which someday, perhaps 2 years from now, they will travel to.  Ugh.  AND, no one died!  Sure Orks did, but none of the 13 or whatever travelers died.  C'mon!  Peter, in the next movie, can you please open up with a scene where 3 of these guys bite it?  C- is my rating, and that is ONLY because the graphics were good.  The plot and the story should be a D or an F.  I'm curious how the public is rating this.  Oh and I saw it in 3D with this special HFR (high frame rate) filming.  Please.  A waste.  There were a few cool things, and I guess I "felt" more like I was in the film when compared to other 3D movies???  But really, it was just not worth it.  I can tell you that I bet this movie made 500000000000000 billion dollars, right?  Haha, it's so funny how things work.

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