137 Prometheus (A-)

So I saw Prometheus last evening (really on June 18th, I just haven't gotten around to posting this).  Please note, if you haven't seen this movie then don't read the below.  It is a plot spoiler for sure.  

Why did that white guy drink something and fall into the waterfall at the very beginning?  Was that foreshadowing to him spreading the disease (from the black liquid vases) into Earth’s water system?  Or perhaps was that what happened earlier on that moon/planet they spent the majority of the movie on?

Was this a mirror or prequel or sequel to Hunter Prey?  When the planet floor started opening up for the ship to leave, I turned to my buddy and whispered “Hunter Prey?” and he nodded in agreement with my connection.

What was up with the Alien coming out at the end?  Was that done for a sequel or a tie in with the movie Alien itself?  Seriously, why did they do that?  Was it awesome, or was it awful?  So, that small white worm from that guy’s eye got into the girl when they bonked, and then she had a bigger white worm/slug in her belly (all done on purpose by cyborg David), and then that worm got removed - only to turn into a giant white octopus over the span of a few days, and then the giant white octopus went into the giant white alien guy only to turn into an alien directly from the movie Alien(s)?  WTF??  Seriously, think about it….WTF?  Still, I liked it - but huh??

Why did Ridley Scott do Alien and James Cameron do Aliens etc.?  That is odd.  I guess you’ve known this.  I just found out.

I liked when that white guy was coming through the door of the pod at the end, after David told Dr. Shaw to ‘watch out, he’s coming for you’.  That was cool.  In the sequel I hope those guys are in it more, they were cool and done pretty well, versus say the Hulk and the way he looks in movies.

Honestly I liked David, the cyborg.  That was a good character to put into this movie.  He was programmed to be a certain way but had the ability to stray from his own program and have some of his own thoughts.  I liked that he had a different agenda and was a bit evil throughout.  That actually made the plot better.  When he was in the room with all of the stars and Earths floating all around, after the hologram guys came in and sat down and played the flute, I was thinking to myself that if that was a normal human they would have been shiziting their pants, but David was cool under the sheets during that because he was a cyborg and didn’t care that this was all going down.

Bro, they killed off one of the best characters, well two of them.  Halloway (the boyfriend of Dr. Shaw) was good, where do I know him from?  Is he the next Jeremy Piven or Jake Gyllenhaul, or perhaps Renner?  Or Jake Busey?   I believe I’ve seen him in a role before.  Looked it up, the answer is that I saw him in the movie Devil about the elevator.  The other guy that was cool was the guy with the mohawk that turned into a rad werewolf and couldn’t die even when driven over by a space mobile.  That was a cool scene, but they killed him off too soon.  He was a good character.  Also, that main actress was pretty.  She kicked some butt with that alien in her.  All while just having gauze on her person.

Why did they bother putting Guy Pearce in the movie?  I feel that anyone could have played that role.  I liked some of the other supporting characters, like the ship pilot and the one other guy, and Charlize was good per me.

One last note, I saw this in regular, not 3D IMAX.  If you want to see it again give me a shout.  I’ll go again.  And I gave this an A- instead of a B+ because even though I thought the plot jumped around a  lot, the scenery and CGI was done very well.

Okay, one more last note - I said a basic gist of the above to my friend and he asked me, "Chris, not to be rude, but when was the last time you saw Alien?"  Apparently if I had remembered that movie, I would have understood more of this movie.  That does not take away that the plot was a bit disjointed  and the movie was mostly run by it's extremely awesome cinematography.

Mac and Me / 141 (C-)

I have to give Mac and Me a bit of credit because my kids loved it - basically laughed the entire way.  And I was certainly laughing at the silly display that was Mac and his family.  What crazy little puppet guys, or whatever they were.  LOL.

I sent my buddy the below screenshot from just before the random McDonald's (c) dance scene, and his reply was, "dude, are those zombies attacking McDonald's (c)?"  Actually, despite the wheelchair, all of those people are super skilled dancers that were about to break IT DOWN in the next scene, within the McDonald's (c) itself.  So while they look like 80's zombies, they are actually uber athletes.

This is a must watch link: Mac and Me EPIC dance scene

I'd also like to give a special kudos to Coke (c), Skittles (c), and again....to McDonald's (c) for supporting and sponsoring this movie.  I think my kids are ready for Spielberg and some ET!  If they can make it through bad, they should be ready for awesome.

#140 Enter the Dragon (A)

I'm sure everybody knows the plot of this one.  Well I for one have never seen it.  What a fantastic film.  Truly.  I always thought (because of all of the other kung-fu/karate movies) that there couldn't be a viable plot, that it would be just good martial arts.  Damn, this one had it's action AND the plot to boot.  I'm glad in Bruce's first planned fight he didn't even break a sweat or get hit once.  That is perfect.  "Oharra's treachery has disgraced us."

I loved the main characters....Jim Kelly, aka Black Belt Jones, was fantastic.  Why doesn't he have a picture on his IMDB (c) page?  I would have to say he's pretty famous so it seems reasonable.  Also John Saxon was good as well.  Although I don't think he really has any talent other than acting.  His action scenes were filmed from interesting angles, as in, he isn't skilled like Jim and Bruce.  His IMDB (c) page picture is odd too.  Looks like Sean Connery maybe, and something laying on a table, and then a guy looking the other way.  Why would anyone (whether it's the actors selecting it or people who work at IMDB{c}) pick these things as their photo?  Clearly John Saxon was a huge star (I've seen him in Black Christmas, Nightmare on Elm St., and Tenebre), why would he not want his picture on his historical record?  This is starting to become odd.  I wonder if there is legal pieces I'm missing, as in if they can't get in touch with him for his approval, thus they have to put some odd picture up for his legacy.

So enough about my fascination with actor profiles.  Back to the movie.  Holy shit the scene in the basement/lair was down right awesome.  He is so good.

Also, for villains - Bolo Yeung (aka Sze Yang) is awesome.  I've definitely seen him before as well.

The end scene was like that one ridiculous scene from Kill Bill or Kill Bill 2.  But Enter the Dragon did it right.  It wasn't one against 100 like in Kill Bill.

ol' Kepp

After missing nearly a month, Kepp came back yesterday to play against the Phils (would have been the day before, but there was a rain out).  Season to date, he has officially struck out only 5 times in 93 ABs, including 4 in May (2 in the same game) and 1 in April.  The Phils couldn't get him out yesterday, much less strike him out as he went 5-5, including a game changing RBI hit in the 9th off Jonathan Papelbon.  The dude is legit.  I'd love to see what he can do at clean-up all year for the Rays.

Jeff has 147 career Ks in 2,167 ABs, in just over 600 games played.

This year: Rick Porcello, C.C. Sabathia, Brian Matusz, Brian Matusz again, and Scott Atchison are the only ones to get Jeff to wiff.

#139 Gor (B)

Now hold on....exactly 10 minutes in, why are they fighting with that jewel out in the open like that?

Roll over Magnum PI, here comes a real winner.  Gor is in the house!  Ok, going to push play again....starting just when he landed in that strange world after leaving his horrible past life, which basically was the torture of living in the 80's.  How much happier could this guy be?  Bullied, bothered, he knew and they wouldn't listen....BOOOOOM...now he's in Gor land.  Or, is he GOR????????

Surrounded by three crazily armed guys with medieval helmets and horses, this dude calls out, "I'm a physics professor...here, I'll show you my license."  What a tool bag.

Reminder to self, see Zardoz, Xeiram, Thor: Mighty Warrior, Star Crash, and Krull again.

best line ever...a la Tom Hanks in his best work....NO LIE, just believe in the story and what I'm saying, and it's as good as effing Tommy Hanks: "Are you friends with Norman......?  Did he put you up to this?"  Meanwhile, he just killed a freaking son of Solum.  He actually reminds me of a Will Ferrell type here, or Michael Cera.  Perhaps this film inspired Year One?  Ha!

I will say this about the movie Gor, it not only held my interest, but it made me feel as if I was on a wild ride.  I know I say this a lot but if you are willing to realize the genre and age of this movie, open your mind, and able to just jump in for a journey - then you will enjoy Gor.  However, for being PG, I do believe I saw boobs at one point...so that was unnecessary and didn't match the rating for sure.  It was almost a movie you could have your older young kids watch.  Almost like Krull, minus a boob.

Oh, by the way, Gor is the world he warps to after his car crash.  An odd name and I would have named him Gor for his Zarnian name.  Shit, the dude learned to outlast the Outlaws and Nomads!  He deserves an awesome name.

#138 House (D+)

There really wasn't too much to this movie.  And I'm shocked, to be honest, that "viewers like me" (per Netflix (c) standards) rated this movie almost a full 4 out of 5.  I guess that goes to show how wrong I am on other ratings??  Geez.  Well this one I rated a 2 out of 5.

Since there are many movies named House, I should clarify which one I watched.  This was the one with George Wendt and the Greatest American Hero, aka William Katt.  I wanted to point out that William Katt has listed his IMDB (c) picture as follows.  I'm prepared to have a discussion in the comments section about why this might be, aside from the fact that he played the voice of that dog in an animated movie...don't you think that it would make more sense to have his picture as the Greatest American Hero?  I mean, he's super famous for that role....or even a current headshot...but instead, he picks this dog looking at a candle.  Please do go nuts and let's discuss:

See below for screenshot of the movie poster to help add to the clarification.  From a plot standpoint though, it was just poor overall.  The acting was so-so.  It's about a guy (Greatest American Hero) that lost his son in a pool and is an award winning writer that everyone loves.  He goes to a house in the middle of a neighborhood for some solitude - a house which has had some previous "issues" as you could probably guess - his Aunt lived there and he grew up there when he was younger.  Then you have an annoying neighbor in George Wendt, constantly coming over and bothering the main character even at midnight for "snacks", and a shit-ton of flashbacks to his days in 'Nam (totally unnecessary - at least the amount of flashbacks is overwhelmingly many)....and throw in some monsters.  Overall, eh.

I also can't believe there is a House 2 and Netflix (c) users like me think that one is great too.  I can agree that a sequel can sometimes be better, for example Evil Dead or Troll.  It also says viewers that like House will also like Waxwork and The Gate, both movies I've reviewed on here and both okay and GREAT respectively.

Anyway, here are the pictures of the front of the movie "case":

(c)

Not to be confused with this epic hopefully to be seen soon:

#136 Crawlspace (B-)

"So be it..."


Once I saw Dr. Gunther put his hand over the flame on the stove - I knew this was going to be a movie worth watching.  Then later he wore make-up (see below for screenshot insert).  Make-up that was smeared all over him like a clown, so bonus points awarded here.  Basically I loved that Klaus Kinski was the villain in Crawlspace.  Casting a movie is clutch I've come to realize.  Take Chop for example, what a great example of a movie with a semi good idea for a plot that is totally ruined by bad acting/casting.  Remember when he was flying within the crawlspace on that cart with wheels?  He’s a master of catching up to people in small places that he frequents.  Nasayne?  I started to look at his IMDB repetuaur to find out where I mostly know him from, but it’s so long that I got tired of looking – I know I  him from Aguirre the Wrath of God by Herzog.  But I’m not sure if I know him from anywhere else.  He was like Hannibal Lector in that film and to be honest, perhaps Anthony Hopkins watched Crawlspace for his inspiration for Silence of the Lambs, since Crawlspace came out first.  In fact, I cannot stop thinking about this as a possible fact.  Klaus taught Anthony, per my best guess.

The cover art on this film had me initially steering away from it – but had I known that it was an early 80’s piece that was mostly psychological (versus extreme brutality/horror which is what I thought it was going to be based on the cover art), I would have watched it sooner.  The cover should actually be either Klaus putting on that red lipstick and staring at the camera, or him gliding through the crawlspace on his flat scooter.  Once again, see below for examples.

RIP Klaus - 1991

#133 Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (A!)

Dear Mr. director Eli Craig,

     Bravo holmes!  Hell of a movie.

Signed yours truly.


My buddies were definitely right.  Since I've seen this movie (back on May 28th, but just now getting around to posting about it - also please note I just posted Killer Elite from May but I let that one sit back with the May posts)....anyway, since I've seen this - I have been able to recommend it to a few folk.  Only one has watched it thus far that I am aware of and he loved it.  If you are a genre jumper like me and are willing to watch a movie for what it is and with an open mind, as well as being able to understand that when I rate something an A that it is indeed an A within it's genre and not to be compared to the likes of Braveheart....then I say to you sir, give this movie a try.  It's a slasher-comedy flick, a la Doghouse or Severance....but I have to say, it's much better than both of those even though Severance was a very good movie.  Actually, to me Tucker & Dale vs. Evil is up there with Hot Fuzz.

Quite honestly, if you are old enough and also willing to watch a gory slasher flick - then you have to at least give this a chance.  It's for all types of movie goers and I guarantee that you will laugh once you push play.  I credit the main actor, Dale, with his superb acting as a redneck ability.  He really does a good job and I'm anxious to see more of his acting.  Here is his IMDB (c) page - his name is Tyler Labine: IMDB page for Dale from Tucker & Dale movie  Tyler Labine is definitely an up and coming Nick Frost type.  I'm a fan.

So to recap, if you like comedies - specifically good ones where you actually laugh, not just fake it - and can be okay with some impaling scenes....then push play on this epic journey.  I need to see it again starting NOW.

This user from Netfizzle (c) says it very eloquently:


I wasn't sure what to expect from this movie, but thankfully it's an absolutely hilarious riff on the cabin in the woods genre. It's not one of those awful parody films like "Superhero Movie", you can tell this film was made by people who love the genre and there are nice little references to Texas Chainsaw and Evil Dead and other films sprinkled throughout. The cast is great and Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine are great together. It isn't a splatstick film, it's bloody but it isn't overly gory so feel free to watch with your weak-stomached friends. I saw this at the Dallas International Film Fest and the entire audience was rolling with laughter and gave a huge round of applause at the end. The director said the main complaint he gets about the film is that there isn't enough nudity, but I think you'll be to busy laughing to care.

the Gate #129 (B)

...something jolts you awake.  That's what they say will be needed for craziness via dream.  I just witnessed that phenomenon in The Gate.  It's apparently a good way to remember an astral event or whatever it's called.

I love that the mom and dad leave, and craziness ensues for a group of youngsters, yet they are so worried about having a good time on their "free" weekend that they don't want to tell anyone and just keep letting the craziness go forward.

Those little guys are so great!  It's like Subspecies only they are more involved with the movie.  I love it.  I also feel a hint of Goonies (even though I've never really seen the whole thing) and Terror Vision.

FYI, a young Stephen Dorff stars in The Gate...he must be like 9 years old or close to that.

A-hahaha, a dude just fell through the drywall.  Man, his friend takes a beating in this movie.  Dorff just lets him get sucked down into the gate and taken by the drywall monster.

For the record, all photos of this movie found on IMDB (c) (minus the ones of the cover picture) are in black and white for some reason.  Not sure why?  It is from 1986....so, that was pretty much before color.

Best scene, drywall monster takes boombox to the face from Steven Dorff, stuns him enough to fall straight to face, and explodes into little demons - about 12 of them.  HAHA!  Barbie doll to the eye - runner up.  Are these plot spoilers??

So, the overall take on this film by me is that I think this is a good movie for kids who are offically old enough to watch horrorish type movies.  Perhaps at like 16 or close?  I don't know.  But it's basically a journey that is for kids or people with minds like mine, aka an adult stuck in a child's mind.  LOL.  They do a good job with the creatures and the overall attack scenes.  I respectfully give this a B.

I watched this a month ago but am just realizing that I never published this post.  My bad.  It was seen on 5/8/12.

Zone Troopers #135 (D+)

Well, I just watched Zone Troopers because Netflix (c) determined that this would be a good movie for me, I suppose due to my other ratings.  It's from 1985 and I can confirm it was bad but better than Chop.  This flick basically was a small war battle between USA and Germany interrupted by strange alien kinds - some who looked like green painted men (the men) and some who looked like the fly (the women).  I could barely keep my interest and it definitely showed it's age.  Not really my cup of tea, although, go ahead and remake this and I'll watch it...ha!  Another dud.  Not a good double feature evening at my house.  Oh well.

Chop #134 (D)

The worst acting ever.  Honestly, I only continued to watch this movie because my buddy told me it was decent.  Totally horrible.  Wanted to turn it off after the first scene when I noted that the main actor was a Troma Films (c) guy AND they were trying to be "serious".  In fact, I think he was Tromeo himself.  Anyway....super stupid movie and a waste of my time.  I actually would like my time back.  The only reason this was not an F was because of my respect for Troma (c).

Other main actor whines, "...and you don't even remember me?!@?!"  Dumb.