Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl / #77 (B-)

A-hahahahaha!!  Wow, they really make bad movies very good nowadays.  If you have instant stream and are okay with oddness, I dare you to watch the first 5 minutes of this movie.

HOLY HELL!  What the hell is that!? (I'm talking about the scene in the school room)  Oh God!!  Seriously! There it/she is again....

Thanks for the tip on watching this one bro....I can say, that the acting is not great and the forced English over-dub is sort of annoying, but the craziness is worth checking out for sure.  The custodian is crazy.    The scenes with the feet flying (both helicopter and in the basement), ARE ZANY....reminiscent of the soon to be watched 'House' movie.  

Seriously, is this a Troma (c) movie??  For an odd-on-purpose movie with lots of random parts (literally), I give it a B- and recommend to anyone who likes movies like The Machine Girl or Ichi the Killa.

Update: here's two pictures I was finally able to upload:

Nosferatu: The Gothic Industrial Mix / #76 (C)

1922 version directed by F.W. Murnau:

Joke is on me.  I thought silent film meant no sound, not even music.  Also, I didn't expect sub-titles.  I sort of feel like that is cheating.  All these years, I thought people just guessed what they were saying by their acting skills.  Oh, haha.  Just read that the "Gothic Industrial Mix" is the version with music added in the background to make it more eerie.

I wonder if centuries prior to film, people acted out bits such as this?  It's pretty creepy to see what the minds of folks in the early 1900's thought.  I sure would love to see a Paleolithic-man stage play.

Count Orlok is very broad shouldered, with crazy skinny legs and pointy shoes.

Best non-spoken line, "Is this your wife?  What a lovely throat."

Watching this movie was pretty tough.  I gave it a try, but unless Count Orlok was on the screen there was no need to view this film.  I really liked the scene where he was carrying the coffin around, especially when he went across the screen in a sped up motion.  That was the coolest.  There were some other spooky shots, but quite honestly I could have done without seeing this.  I guess this is where it all started though, so I must give it some props.  However, it's just boring.  There is barely any action.

Rumble Fish / 75 (A-)

I counted, just like we used to do with Mike Jones songs.  I believe they said "Rusty James" 16 times in the first 4 minutes of the movie.  Pretty darn annoying and I wish they edited a bunch of them out.  With that aside...holy crap, awesome cast!  M. Dillon, N. Cage, Chris Penn, Hopper, Diane Lane, Fishburne, T. Waits, Rourke - man!  Why didn't anyone ever mention this movie to me before??  They all look so young.  The cast reminds me of something similar to that 'stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold' movie.  I had to stare at Nick Cage four times to verify if it was him, then I had to actually look him up on the internet just to be sure.  I also had to look up Diane Lane.  Thought she looked like Kate Hudson but knew that couldn't be the case since it's from 1983...then I thought maybe Ashley Judd.  There, now you know some of my thought processes mid-movie.

The 35 summers conversation was awesome.  Made me think about stuff. I might go and get this conversation tattooed on my back.  Here it is: 'Time is a funny thing. Time is a very peculiar item. You see when you're young, you're a kid, you got time, you got nothing but time. Throw away a couple of years, a couple of years there... it doesn't matter. You know. The older you get you say, "Jesus, how much I got? I got thirty-five summers left." Think about it. Thirty-five summers.' - Great lines, true dat.

Normally Matt Dillon annoys me and I don't love watching him act, yet I still respect him as he is not totally awful.  He's just someone I'd just rather not watch and he reminds me of my old neighbor.  But in this movie he was really good.  Rourke was awesome as well.  I gotta say it - watching a movie with a young version of Mickey Rourke is so weird.  So very weird.

My thoughts on the plot is that it was very well done.  There is a purpose to this artsy movie, to show a relationship not only between a brother and an older, cooler brother, but to show the relationship and hierarchy between a family of hooligans running their corner of the city.  A dreary feel, good acting, interesting color...hella movie.  Francis Ford Coppola does a good piece of work.  It's kind of beautiful in a way, in a very slow, very specific and on purpose kind of way.   Glad I saw it on it's last day available on instant stream.

I estimate they ended up saying "Rusty James" 47 more times as the movie went on yet I barely know the other characters names.  I think one was Smokey.  I looked this fact up on IMDB (c) and they said it was mentioned over 50 times, at least once every two minutes.  Should have been cut in half.

Waxwork / 74 (C)

Cool idea, but the movie lacked in luster and wow-factor.  Basically a random wax museum found on the middle of a standard street hosts a bunch of wax scenes.  When unsuspecting victims get too close they fall (or get pushed by Lurch) into a portal and the scene comes alive with them in it.  At that point basically they are sorry they fell into the scene because they then get to be a permanent fixture in the scene.  There is some sort of connection with having 6 people engulfed by these wax scenes to do something, I'm not sure (I found out, it means they all become alive...the wax bad guys).  One clever piece of this movie is that each of the "scenes" is a different story.  So the director basically has a bunch of little mini-movies within a movie.  One is medieval, one is about a werewolf, one is about vampires, one about mummies, etc.  Sort of a cheap way out of a movie actually.  It's like Bill and Ted but in a waxwork horror movie.  Also for some reason I feel a bit of Hellraiser in this one, but I can't figure out why.  Scratch that...I just watched the last 20 minutes, this movie reminds me of a 'horror-movie-Night-at-the-Museum'.  At the end, everything comes alive and craziness ensues.  Not enough craziness to watch though.  I'd stay away it's not that good.  I see there are others too per the recommendations from Netflix.  I bet Waxwork II is really good.  Ha!  I do have a question though, is Paris Hilton's epic "House of Wax" a remake of this?  I actually bet a remake could be done well and be worth watching.

The Lazarus Project / 73 (D+)

My boy Shawn Hatosy wasn't in this movie long.  He pulled a Steven Seagal from Executive Desicion.  Funny, I just looked up the trivia on IMDB for Executive Decision and found out the following interesting fact:

Originally, Travis was to die due to low cabin pressure causing his head to explode.  Steven Seagal refused to shoot this scene for fear his fans would not like it. Director Stuart Baird insisted he must do it as scripted, though Seagal held up filming for a few days and argued that the scene was not realistic. Finally after threat of contractual breach, Seagal agreed to return to filming and a new death scene was scripted.


So on to the movie.  It's basically about a dude named Ben, played by Paul Walker, who everyone knows I personally love.  But I think (actually I know) I love him better as Brian O'Conner in the F&F franchise.  In this movie he was more like Bobby Z or the character he played in Running Scared.  Essentially a couple of clunker movies.  In this epic action/thriller, Walker plays a guy who was previously in jail but got out and turned his life around.  He had a kid, a wife as well as a job, everything he could want - only to get thrown back into jail and also be up for the death penalty, I think, but they only briefly hit on this.  Sort of odd.  Anyway, instead they erase his memory or something, perhaps inject him with something - I think a snake is involved??  Again, kind of odd.  They flash back to it over and over and over again, tirelessly throughout the movie.  Whatever happened, he is removed from his old life and is not allowed to go back to it, but he is still alive.  Then for about an hour, a long hour, he's in a facility with other people like him...given another chance and all removed from their old lives.  People are constantly watching and no one is allowed to leave.  Also, I particularly loved how they are watching his every move until he starts to figure things out, then somehow he's able to do a bunch of sleuth work without anyone seeing.  Anyway I won't ruin the end even though I know you won't watch it....but just know there are a few twists.

Thelma from that Scooby Doo movie was pretty cute with long hair and without the Thelma look.  That is an FYI only.  Good day.

Don't Torture A Duckling / 72 (F)

Lucio Fulci fail.  This movie was so dumb.  I don't think I understood any of it.  And the characters were so hard to follow.  Honestly, I just wasted 1 hour and 41 minutes of life.  Good day.  That's all I got.  I think this is my first F by the way.

Rabbit-Proof Fence / 71 (B+)

Certainly not my "style" of movie by a long shot, but really well done and a good story to be told.  Based on a true story, this film shows three aborigine sisters being taken from their homes in Australia by what I suppose is a government group  This group can claim/take "half-caste" children, which are basically children that are half white and half aborigine.  The girls get taken basically immediately at the beginning of the film and then they are taken to a house to be raised by teachers and other such folk.  The rest of the movie is about their escape, which lasts about 9 weeks (and at one point they mention it's well over 800 miles) as they trek back home.  The entire time they are trying to avoid a 'tracker' from the school as well as officials/police who are trying to catch them and bring them back.

Very gripping and well done, worth a watch although a bit depressing and long.  I'm glad I saw this film.  I bet it won awards.  At the end they show two of the girls who are alive to this day.  They still live with their families in Australia and were never sent back to the Moore River School.

Twilight #70 (C-)

While flipping through the channels tonight a buddy of mine and I found Twilight on FX, so we thought we'd watch.  Strangely, I was attracted to this movie.  However, it was still mostly cheese.  The baseball scene with the 1910 hats was laughable...and really up until that point, there wasn't much going on with the plot except for Edward trying to get Bella to trust him.  That was over an hour into the film.

After watching for a while, I started to note that there was a funny noise Kristen Stewart was doing, almost a grunting.  She does it three times when talking to her mom on the phone in the one scene.  Once I mentioned it, it was all we could focus on and made the movie quite laughable.  It's half a shame too, because I went into this movie with two thoughts on my mind and they were opposite thoughts.  One was it might be cool if this ends up actually semi-good.  The other was I sort of want to make fun of this movie.  I think after the movie was over I was leaning towards camp funny, versus camp good.  It honestly felt made for TV.   I didn't know that wolf guy was even in this movie.  I guess jokes on me.  He must get more involved in the future movies once he goes and works out 24-7.  The family of vampires related to Edward were not good.  They should have cast those roles better for sure.  I guess the one guy is now married to a girl from 90210?  We also kept wondering why he (Edward) didn't just bite her and make her part of his clan?  That was odd.  Perhaps in the next movie?  Which, I might watch....??

I do think now however that I'm very inclined to go back and watch Taintlight, a wonder of a movie by none other than Chris Seaver.  But, I heard the book is much better.  I bet it's really funny now that I've seen Twilight.  Edward specifically I bet is funny.  Watching him act is pretty painful, although of his entire family he's really the only one that looks the part.  I kept laughing when he was driving and would lean forward a bit to yell or talk to Kristen Stewart in a stern vampire voice....like when he said, "just let me get you out of here" after the baseball scene.

I was very tempted to give this a D+ but I was somewhat intrigued and would watch the 2nd movie for sure.

The Burning # 69 (B-)

I took 30 minutes the other day to look up articles/lists on-line for the "best unknown horror movies" out there.  The Burning was recommended on the following list for slasher flicks: top ten   The oddest part is the main killer's name in the movie is Cropsy.  I guess that's where they got the name for the urban legend from Staten Island?  Perhaps not, I just looked it up on Wikipedia and they said the name goes way back. So I guess they took it from the legend as a whole.

Here's what Wikipedia says: 

Cropsey Origins

The name “Cropsey”,[2] has nebulous origins. According to folklore experts,[who?] there were several urban legends in the late 19th century that dealt with a person named Cropsey.

Anyway, the movie is campy (literally, it takes place at a camp) and a B-rated slasher, but done pretty well. They don't show Crospy too much which is a shame. A lot of black boot and ankle shots from him. It starts off where kids play a prank on a guy and he ends up getting burned very badly.  5 years later he is out for revenge.  Jason Alexander is one of the main actors, which is funny. I also recognized Mark 'Rat' Ratner from Fast Times at Ridgemont High...his real name is Brian Backer.  He was also in Police Academy 4 and Meatballs.  I bet a lot of people would recognize him.  Per IMDB he was born in 1956! That is crazy!!  He seemed so young in The Burning, but I guess it was from 1981. Apparently Holly Hunter was in this too, but I didn't see her at all.  If I ever find myself watching again, I'll look for her.  Overall don't expect much more from this than a standard 80's slasher film, but if you like that kind of thing then give it a shot.  I enjoyed watching for sure.  Reminded me a lot of a Friday the 13th type of movie.

The Vanishing (1993 version) / #68 (A)

Awesome movie!  Very well done.  I've only made it part of the way through the 1988 foreign flick, but I think that George Sluizer does a fantastic job directing the 1993 version.  It's surprising to me, especially with all the talk about the foreign one being "better", that the director of both versions is Sluizer.  He redirected his own work, that's funny and nice.  Sort of like the upcoming Wicker Tree by Robin Hardy (which actually was released in the UK last year I think....what is wrong with here?  Why can't we get that film??).

The guy from Arlington Road was fantastic, aka 'The Dude'.  I guess when I look back on it, he's one of my favorite actors.  He did a bang up job with his supporting role in Ironman...I didn't full out love True Grit (one of the only parts I liked was his acting) and the Men Who Stare At Goats, and I don't think I've seen the other 34+ movies he's done....but I've liked enough of his work to know that he's pretty legit.  And when all is said and done, he falls closer to the top.

Basically the movie is slow and gritty - like a good Coen Bros. movie.  But holy heck is it suspensful!  Thriller of the year!  Just kidding.  Watch it.  Plot in 15 words or less: guy practices to kidnap people and finally kidnaps Sandra Bullock.  Keifer Sutherland gets mad and tries to get her back for 3 years.  There was a Nancy Travis sighting in here too, a good surprise, I remember when she was good.

The Midnight Meat Train #67 (B)

Well well well, this movie was quite a surprise.  Quite an interesting and entertaining 2nd "half" if you will.  The first half was awesome as well, but more of a horror gore fest with some stand-up-and-clap type scenes.  Still very nice for horror fans.  Then the 2nd half and the end take some nice turns.  I'm not saying this is a modern day Shining or anything, just saying for a recent horror movie, this one is good and worth a recommendation.  Staring Vinnie Jones, Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, and Brooke Shields.

For the record, I watched half of this and then left to see Tower Heist, then returned and finished the movie.

There is a plot spoiler below that you have to highlight to see.  So if you don't want to have the plot ruined, stop reading and go on to #68.

I can't friggin' believe that Bradley Cooper ate Leslie Bibb's heart, literally, and THEY WERE DATING!!  Crazy twisted ending.

66 / The Tower Heist (B+)

Funny movie. Great cast. I didn’t realize that Casey Affleck was also in this movie. I actually laughed out-loud about 4 times and had a smile internally for most of the movie. The scene towards the end, the one involving the off the edge of the building stuff, actually had me feeling queasy however. Being scared of heights and watching on the theatre screen was likely why I felt that way. Basically, I couldn’t watch. I can’t say what is happening in this scene because it will give away the plot. I’m pretty sure that the Precious actress was in this movie. I’ll have to check IMDB and find out. Yep, it was her. She was good. 

This one is recommended to all actually. One of the better comedies I’ve seen in a while. Definitely better than ‘The Big Year’.

Hesher #65 (B-)

Man. Damn. I’m pretty sure I hated this movie. It brought out feelings I don’t like. The intensity was so crazy the entire movie, but not in a good way. Bullies suck, this movie and the feelings it brought upon me, sucked. I don’t want to feel this way. Perhaps it did its job then, but it was so depressing. I felt so mad at Joseph Gordon-Levitt-Hewitt the entire movie. I just wanted him to go away. I don’t want my kids to experience one scene like this movie in real life situations ever. Shit. Awful emotions overwhelmed me. Back to discussing the movie "doing its job", I think that the movie was supposed to be this way. So honestly the feeling was likely warranted. Thusly, being the case, I suppose I’ll give it a B-. People should see this but go in knowing that it is a depressing slap in the face. A few comedy scenes, sort of, are thrown in there. I never need to see this again. Good day.

64: Red State (B+)

Geeeeeeeeeeeez.  How and why do I keep watching these movies that make me feel bad for watching them?  Bad because it is about a relevant/taboo topic from today's society.  Actually, thinking more about it, more of a bad feeling because I end up liking the movie.  But I guess the director did what he aimed to do then if I ended up enjoying the flick.  Director's must by default think to make movies about current topics now-a-days; and if it's a movie out there - I suppose I shouldn't beat myself up for watching it or liking it.  But like 'Rampage' and 'Buried', I feel odd thinking they did a good job.  And while it's pretty low budget (like 'Brotherhood: Are You In or Out?'), and more of a straight to DVD type of movie, it was done really well.

The plot is basically about three kids that are going to meet a lady caller.  Turns out it's a lure, because they are sinners of course.  From there, the entire movie is about them being stuck inside one of those compound-walled cities with a group of crazy religious folk.  They are being used as an 'example' to the citizens of the compound.

Special kudos to Keven Pollack for his Steven Seagal like performance!  Solid work homey!  Also a note to Stephen Root - bro, I don't think you can do any role where I don't picture you as Milton.  Too bad too.

Lastly I don't like when IMDB decides to put the cast in order of appearance, versus order of dominant role.  I've been searching for the actor that played the main cult leader and I honestly can't find it.  Totally annoying.  Why do I need to know the name of the guy on the road or believer #1?  Anyway it ended up being a guy named Michael Parks - it was not Kris Kristofferson.  Oh and John Goodman was solid.  He should be in more.  Good day.

Dead and Buried - #63 (B-)

Pretty good wickerman-eske movie, with some decent special effects.  I found it on the following link: here is the link - which is a top 10 underrated or unknown horror films list.  I can't really say much about the plot because it will immediately go into a spoiler alert, but basically a small town falls under a bad streak and the constable tries to make things right.  I do recommend this one to Mike.

62 / From Paris With Love (D+)

only good thing about this movie was the non-stop action.  Would I rather see Crank?  Probably.  At one point Travolta said "Royale with Cheese" -  Wow!!  Did he really say that?  C'mon.  Basically this movie is about Travolta running around at full octane and all of his decisions are FULLY based on assumptions (a la 'Girl With the Dragon Tattoo')...while his partner, who I recognize but I'm not sure why, basically just tags along and does nothing.  There is non-stop action but not like in Rambo.  Disappointing...which is what I had heard about it.  Oh well.

It was Jonathan Rhys Meyers who I recognize from 'Bend It Like Beckham'.

Also forgot to add, why the scarf John?  Why?

I added some updates to this post on 11-12.

61 - Dead Calm (B)

Someone once told me this movie wasn't worth watching.  I enjoyed it.  Watching this a second time however, won't be necessary.

The Lawnmower Man did a good job.  Creepy performance for sure.  He kept smiling at Nicole Kidman despite various evil scenarios.  Would truly be a scary situation to live through.  I'm glad Sam Neill is good enough to get the creepy man's boat moving and get back to his wife to save the day.  Spoiler alert.  Oops.

The very last scene was out of control however??  What the heck was that?  Perfect shot Sam, perfect shot.  I'm glad part of that was in slow motion.  Yikes.

60 The Expendables (B-)

Seems like forever to get to #60.  Now apparently I have to go backwards 1 because buddy thinks because I've seen Martyrs before I'm cheating...I didn't use roids to get ahead, so I feel I'm legit still.

I like Stratham...but the guy gotz to speak up.  When he does his tough guy whisper talk, I can barely hear.  I end up moving the volume around based on which of the bad asses are doing their whisper talk at the time.

Arnold's little cameo was funny.  His acting is the worst...he's definitely lost a step, and seems like he can barely walk.  Anyway, I love him as an actor so I'll shut up...sorry Arny....but honestly, the "have dinner in 1,000 years" joke was bad - yet, surprisingly the "what's his problem?" - "He wants to be president" joke had me laugh out loud.

This film didn't seem to do well in the theatre, I don't think.  But I enjoyed the crap out of it.  Plenty of good action, plenty of fights with famous actor bad guys versus famous actor good guys.  Plenty of shit blowing up.  And the last 30 minutes remind me of Commando but with like 7 guys doing the damage.  It's one I'll watch again and a good one for watching with my peeps while having a Pabst.  Super glad in the end that Arny and B. Willis were only quick cameos.  Their roles were insignificant and dumb.  I guess to a point, so was that Wrestler dude, what's his name, that dude with the fake face now.  He only tattooed people and hung with them when they were back at the knife throwing hang-out.  Not Nick Nolte, was it Mickey Rourke?  I am now officially anxiously awaiting Expendables part II with Chuck N. and JCVD.  Bring it....

59 Martyrs (A)

Warning: this movie is not for the squeamish, actually it isn't for too many people.  Gotta be pretty brave to try this one and I sort of feel odd saying I liked it.  I think I actually injured the brain of the guy I watched this with tonight...he might be deeply scared forever.

I think this was the third time I've seen this epic.  After the first time, I was completely blown away and ran out and bought it.  You know, to show that I was that cool horror movie guy who owns only the best.  Well this one definitely proudly sits on my shelf, although, it's super demented so only a few will be able to view it...

This movie is actually sick, beyond sick.  And just goes to show why French horror is some of the best.  When you think it's over, or you believe you got the plot down pat...you are totally wrong.  There is turn after turn, twist after twist, and it goes deeper and deeper, then after that - it goes beyond deep.  Watching for the third time still had me on the edge of my seat.  Very whack...still have some chills actually.

It's funny, after the movie we looked at the case.  They show two girls on the front kind of hugging each other and on the back they showed about 4 scenes of them screaming and running and such.  This movie is soooooo not about that.  Watch and see for yourself.  And remember, I'm only recommending to those rare few out there that can handle it.  It's a turning feeling in my belly about whether I like it or it totally freaks me out.  I remember reading an article once about why we like horror, why we like to be scared and see craziness.  Can't remember specifically, but this movie has all of that.  For sure.  And lastly, the only reason I didn't give it an A+ is because I don't want to seem too demented to those that end up seeing it, who in turn will be scared.  Woot, good flick.